Living in sin

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I was brought up Roman Catholic.  I also have rather conservative parents.  I was taught that it is wrong to live with someone before you are married. 

I don't really agree with this.  I would not look down upon any couple that is not married but lives together.  First of all, I am a big believer in, "it is your life, your business.  whatever works for you."  I understand that people are different, circumstances are different.  I try not to judge.    Second, I don't really think there is anything wrong with it to begin with.  I am not a religious person so don't have any issues with it for religious reasons.  Really, I don't understand the religious aspect of it at all.  Is it supposed to prevent people from having pre-marital sex?  If it is, um.... yeah.  Doesn't work.

Anyway, my fiscally responsible side thinks moving in together is a good idea.  Say Sally and Joe have been dating for over a year and love each other very much.  Each was fortunate enough to be able to afford their own home while still single.  Sally spends most of her time at Joe's and very little at her own house.  Sally and Joe could save tons of money my eliminating the bills that Sally is paying and share the cost of the mortgage and other house expenses.  Smart, right?

Things are actually a bit more complicated than that though, aren't they?  How might living together change the relationship?  What happens if it doesn't work out?   

My sensible side also thinks that it's a good idea to try things out and see how living together works out before committing to it for life.  If you were allowed to try out some expensive item for a while before committing to buying it, wouldn't you do it?

Most of the time I wish that The Boy lived here with me.  I enjoy his company (obviously) and it would be nice to split some of the expenses and responsiblity.  But there is a little part of me that still cherishes my alone time and is afraid that things could possibly change for the worse if he were to move in.  I think that is really just my general fear of change and the unknown rather than actually believing things would deteriorate, though. 


So what's your opinion?  Is it living in sin to live with someone before marriage?  What are the pros and cons?  How do you know when you're ready to take that step?

 



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2 Comments

I don't think its a sin to live with someone before marriage, though I don't think any less of those who believe in that tradition. The religious argument against living together before a couple is married is that they're only living together so they can have sex more often even if they aren't trying to have a baby. And to the Church having sex when you're not trying to have a baby is a sin, (and of course that trying to have a baby outside of wedlock is a sin too).

The pro of 'living in sin' is that you get a taste for what life would be like waking up with that person everyday and seeing them day in and day out. The only con I can see is that it has slowly taken on a bigger meaning nowadays since less people are getting married. People see moving in as *the* big step... when really it should just be another stepping stone up to marriage.

well-put, fragile. i love hearing different perspectives. to me it seems like moving in together is becoming less and less of a big deal because more and more people are choosing to live together before they are married (or choose never to get married). best wishes to you for May, btw. ;)

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Stories, advice, and random thoughts from a thirty-something female.

Many people in their thirties are dealing with common issues and concerns. Some of these include buying a home, establishing a career, starting a family, and dealing with aging parents. I will blog about all these things as well as other every day stuff as I make my way through this third decade of life.

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This page contains a single entry by Erin published on January 31, 2009 2:38 PM.

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