Getting engaged is an exciting thing. It is one of those few special moments you'll remember forever. I admit that I have actually thought more about the proposal than about the wedding itself.
I was asked twice, just today, when I was going to get engaged/married.
When is the ring coming?!
Honestly, I have no idea. And I am not in any rush. Maybe I should be since I'm definitely not getting any younger, but I'm not. My boyfriend and I have have been dating a little shy of three years now, and we are not yet engaged. I probably started getting the question frequently after about 2 years.
My feeling about it at the moment is I am very happy with my relationship, and since I am happy I am in no rush to change anything . What difference, really, will it make if I have a ring on my finger or not. I have a significant other whom I love dearly and we have a nice life together. I know that he is fully committed to me, and I am fully committed to him.
Maybe in another year or two I will change my tune. For now, I am perfectly content with a bare ring finger on my left hand (and my boy holding the right one).
If you are married, how long did you date before getting engaged? Is there a certain amount of time of dating where you should either tie the knot or call it quits?
Hey again,
No pressure to you but getting married was the best thing I did. Seriously, so far nothing tops that. We dated for 4 years and got hitched. Its hard to say when is the right time to say "lets get hitched" but if the notion is not present, I doubt it will ever come. So plant the seed. ;-)
I know life is great when it's bf/gf and we'd thought things would not be different when we got married, but there was a great understanding, common intuition that is hard to put down in words. I tried to write a post about it, not sure if I conveyed the right impression or message but here it is http://www.majimoblogs.com/2009/02/sticky-irony.html
Enjoy, take your time, but get the seed planted!
Majimo
Hey Majimo. Interesting point about "planting the seed". I think it may already be, although somewhat indirectly. We have 4 weddings to go to this year so it's kind of on the brain. His sister is getting married later this year and she and his mom have made some hinting jokes. Rather funny, actually :)
Hey Erin,
My wife and I met online, and we knew each other for 9 months before we met. After meeting in person we got married 6 months later.
I think the timescale depends entirely on what both people want. We both wanted to get married fairly quickly as we knew it was right for us. I know of a couple who were unmarried for at least 16 years and then got married because they thought the time was right. It hasn't really changed anything about their relationship.
As long as both people in the relationship are happy to get married quickly, or wait a while, that's all that matters.
Ben, I agree that it really does depend entirely on the couple. What's right for one isn't right for another. It seems some people have it in their mind that there is as set time one when people should get married.
My parents got engaged after a fairly short courtship. I don't know the details of exactly how short, but now it is 34 years later and they are still happily married :)
Well let's see. When I got engaged, we had been dating a little over 5 years but we were babies, really, when we started dating (our first date was my senior prom in high school!) so I was 22 & he was 21. Subsequently, we never were under any pressure from anyone about when it would happen. Less than a year later, we were no longer together--and that is a good thing. Nuff said. With my second longterm relationship, we were dating a little over a year when we moved from New England to Florida. We had a house & a dog. And lots of questions about when. Of course, deep down, I knew that answer was "never," it just took a while for me to summon the courage to leave. I think the bottom line is you'll do it when you're ready as a couple. If someone is ready before someone else, then all you can do is talk about & either come to a solution or determine you are now on different paths. I don't think there's any right or wrong amount of time to wait.
Thanks for sharing your story, Dawn. I'm sure that took a lot of courage to leave that situation. Sounds like you already had a lot invested in the relationship.
There is a lot of pressure but we are doing our own thing and moving along at our own pace :)