My boyfriend has been away all of this past week. He left in the very early hours of Sunday morning to go to California for a business trip. This is the second time we've been apart for more than a day or two. The first time was when I went to Florida for a week and it was only about 2 months into our relationship, I think. I have missed him terribly. I long to see him after this time apart, and I think that is healthy. It is similar to only being able to really appreciate how wonderful a beautiful sunny day is once you've experienced the alternative, a gloomy cloudy day.
He is coming home tomorrow night so tonight I have been busy trying to make the yard look nice and the inside of the house sparkle. I stopped at the garden store to get some more flowers for landscaping, and the grocery store to stock up on some food, and to get a couple of things for a rhubarb crisp that I am going to attempt to make for him tomorrow morning. A friend of ours made it last year and he loved it so I thought it would be a nice gesture. And, there is a ton of ripe rhubarb out in the backyard that needs to be used. It is a different [easier] recipe than the one our friend used last year and I have never made it before so it could be a huge flop. I figure there is no harm in trying though.
I do actually think it is good to have a little time apart. I think sometimes we take our significant other always being there for granted. Being away helps us appreciate them a little more. Also, it gives you a little reminder that you can in fact survive without your significant other and you are your own independent and confident individual. Once you are deep into a relationship and spend so much time together you may begin to forget you still exists as your own person, not just as part of a couple.
So what do you think, does distance make the heart grow fonder? Is time apart healthy for your relationship? What do you do when you are a sans your significant other?
I think every healthy relationship thrives on having some time apart. You need interests in common and also to spend time as separate individuals, allowing you to reunite, refreshed & with unique experiences to share with your partner.
One of my favorute quotes:
"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and inflames the great."
(Roger de Bussy-Rabutin)
I think things would become dull and monotonous without separate interests, friends, and some time apart. It is particularly import in my current relationship since my boyfriend and I work together and sit almost directly across from each other! Luckily he has not yet (after nearly 3 years) gotten sick of seeing so much of me :) It does take work to keep things interesting. It was really nice seeing him again today and hearing all the stories from his week and getting to share my stories with him.
I LOVE that quote you posted. I had not heard it before. Thanks for sharing!
Some time apart is necessary, although not mandatory. But having individual lives are important. I guess my blog is a way of individual expression. However something it can be tough when two people who are married lead such separate lives that the time they share together is minimal. Of course this is an extreme but I believe that balance is the key.
Majimo
I think the amount of necessary time apart depends on the individual. Myself, I do MUCH better in my marriage when I have a good portion of time to myself. Right now, I work 9-5 and my husband is working 5pm-9pm most nights... and this is perfect for me. I LOVE having those hours to myself several nights a week. I love to miss him a little and to look forward to the few nights a week we do get to have dinner together. It makes all of our time more precious.
Balance is definitely key in my opinion too. I would have issues with too little time spent together. You just need to find the right balance of together and apart that works for both you and your partner.
Everyone is different and i agree the right balance for each couple is different. Some people are more clingy than others and some value their personal alone time more. I would say i fall more on the side of clingy and would probably get upset if i hardly got to see my sig. other due to work schedules. I would get lonely after a while!