The night is cold, but I am sitting on my couch in my warm and comfortable home. I am staring at the 7.5 foot fake Christmas tree that stands in front of the living room bay window. The lights reflect brilliantly on the glass of the 6 large windows. In the distance I can see the outdoor light display at the house across the street. Colored lights. Clear lights. Three reindeer with lights, one of which keeps moving his head back and forth. Back and forth. The only things missing are my partner and a cup of hot chocolate. The evening news is on the television in the background but I'm not really listening. I am instead hearing my own voice, in my head.
"I wish life could always be so calm, and I could always be this content."
All too often I let one little thing that didn't go perfectly according to plan get the better of me. My mood can sour in an instant. I try to talk myself out of it using reason and logic but it's usually not that easy. I get too caught up in the moment and can't take a step back to view the big picture. I wish I could bottle up this contentment and calmness and whenever one of life's bumps or curves in the road appears, I could take a sip and all would be well again. Just like that. 'Cause really, my life is good, and there's no need to let the small and insignificant things overshadow all the large and important things.
We all get caught up in day to say stuff - it's just the way it is but I think you can always have that feeling of contentment. It just takes a lot of time and dedication and work but you can be there!
Thanks, Christina. It is nice to have a reminder that I am not the only one this happens to.
It's funny but I used to be like this.. so much so. And somewhere, somehow I managed to learn how to let things that weren't in my control go. Sure, I still make plans but I hardly ever get as upset as I used to if something doesn't go right. That's not to say I don't get upset but there hasn't been much door slamming or yelling for this scorpio in the last few years :)
Now if only I could share the secret with you but... honestly, I don't know how I did it :(