There is a couple that my boyfriend and I like to go out to dinner with every, or every other, weekend. For a while, when I first started my diet in November, I opted to not go out. At all. It was easier for me to resist going out to eat than it was for me to go out to eat and not get something bad. Once I lost most of the weight I wanted to lose, I started going out again. I would look up restaurants ahead of time and plan what I would get before we left. I've managed to find several different restaurants that I feel comfortable going to and can enjoy something that is acceptable on my diet.
Lately, this one particular couple we go out with tends to want to get dessert. Either at the restaurant we're currently at or to go out somewhere else specifically for dessert. I have a (very) difficult time saying no to this. I would be perfectly happy not getting dessert, since my parents brought me up with dessert being far from a regular occurrence, until someone else mentions it and then I really want it.
We went out last night and it was no exception in terms of the dessert situation. The other couple shared a piece of strawberry-rhubarb pie. Another friend got a chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream.
For me this was a total lose-lose situation once the idea of dessert was brought up. A classic Catch-22. I was either going to be upset because I caved and ordered some, or I was going to be upset because I was going to have to sit there and watch them eat their amazing little slices of heaven while I sipped the rest of my water.
I ended up choosing the water. My boyfriend, who is a saint (I think I may have mentioned this a time or two already on this blog), abstained with me. He is a guy, under thirty, and is blessed with a fantastic metabolism. In orther words, he is thin and healthy. So he has no reason to watch what he eats as closely as I do. Of course he has to pay attention somewhat since he still wants to be healthy and eating a lot of sugar and fried food and other crap just isn't good for you, whether you are overweight or not.
Anyway, I do think it is prefectly reasonable to treat yourself to foods that may not be very good for you but you enjoy, every now and then. And I do allow myself to go "off-diet" and indulge, but these are special treats, rather than regular occurrences. The difficult thing for me is not to start down that slippery slope. The slope is slippery, and also very steep, and I go down fast. Once I get started, if I am not really careful, the treats will start to become more routine than every once in a while. It's hard, but I know myself well enough by now to know when to say yes, and when to say no. I am pretty proud of my willpower last night and the balancing act I did. I treated myself to a nice dinner, but didn't go overboard by piling dessert on top of it.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this recurring issue, please feel free to speak up. I don't want to miss out on going out to dinner, but I don't want to be faced with this major stuggle every time either.
Ok first of I have to say I am not diet expert but I guess balance is important. I love desserts. At buffets, I normally start with this course first. Anyways if you are planning on going out for dinner with friends and you know they are going to get dessert then perhaps skip the appetiser AND when getting mains get something with little or no carbo. Then you can get dessert with less guilt. It's a compromise but I think
it well worth compromise. :-)
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We are exactly alike! I can do great for a while, but once I cave on dessert, it's all over. Congratulations for sticking to your plan and forgoing dessert (and way to go to your boyfriend too!)
I'm watching what I eat now, three weeks in. I had restaurant challenges this weekend and last. Last weekend I did want dessert and I didn't feel bad about it because I'd ordered a light lunch, but I did split a very small piece of carrot cake with someone at the table. No guilt!
And then this weekend I was so happy that my lunch partner didn't want dessert at all. Had she wanted some, I'd have probably ordered coffee instead. When I do that, I don't feel like I'm sitting staring at them with their dessert. Sometimes if it's available, I'll order just a scoop of vanilla ice cream to go with coffee. It looks like dessert, but nowhere near the calories of something bigger off the menu and I still feel like I'm partaking in a dessert session.
What about having fruit instead of a calorie filled dessert? You still get the sweet sensation but it is much healthier :-)
I don't know if this is much of a tip, but for me it just got really easy to skip dessert, even if other people were ordering it. It was like after a while, my brain re-wired and even other people's desserts sitting right in front of me didn't do much for me. Sure, there are times when I'm like, "OMG, must have apple pie a la mode!" and then I do... but those occasions are few and far between. I'd say just stick with it and it'll get easier.
Thank you, everyone, for your input. Every bit of it is greatly appreciated.
Majimo, dessert first? Shame on you! Haha. I have tried eating a light healthy meal when we go out but that is what i am supposed to have on my diet, which does not include frequent dessert. Certainly better than eating an unhealthy meal and then adding on an unhealthy dessert though.
Deborah, no i have not heard of that coffee or tea. I actually dont like either coffee or tea. I keep trying with tea but cant seem to make myself drink it.
Kathy, you made a couple of great points. The first was to split a dessert. I really like sharing something with my boyfriend. i also like you idea about getting just a scoop of ice cream. might have to try that one soon!
Maybe you could set aside dessert only when you go out to eat or maybe dessert only once or twice a month? I find if you allow yourself to indulge in moderation it makes it less painful than abstaining altogether.
bobocela, thanks for the suggestion. unfortunately i am not a huge fan of fruit. pretty much the only fruits i eat are apples, grapes, and clementines. i'm much better about eating my veggies :)
Candice, I never thought about it that way, but I suspect you are right! At first I was really upset not going out to dinner with people, or eating lunch at my desk while others went out somewhere, but it has gotten MUCH, MUCH easier.
Christina, yeah, I pretty much only get dessert when we go out with this couple, so probably only a couple times a month. Maybe I just need to relax a little bit :) I was complaining to my boyfriend the other day about how I'd been eating 'so horribly' lately and he called me out on it and pointed out how ridiculous I was being. Ha.
I'm not dieting but I do tend to eat fairly healthy. When I go out to dinner, and I anticipate that dessert may be a desired option, I tend to choose a healthier entree & then I eat just half of it (most entrees are far bigger in portion size than they need to be anyway). Then I have eaten something good for me & I still have room for some dessert (bonus if you can share the dessert!) without feeling stuffed afterward. *And* now I have yummy leftovers for tomorrow's lunch as well!
Hi, Dawn. :) I agree with you that the portions served out at restaurants are almost always way too big. And I too, almost always only eat half. I am also lucky in that I'm usually out with my boyfriend who is generally not opposed to sharing with me. It's an excellent way to get a little dessert, but not overdue it. I think if I keep in mind that they will likely suggest dessert and order and eat my entree accordingly, then I should be able to split a little dessert fairly guilt free :)
Thanks again to everyone for your suggestions. Lots of good helpful ideas for me to use while I'm eating out. You guys rock :)