What's Next?

I have been thinking a lot about the future lately. 

Will I get married?  If I do, will it be to my current boyfriend?  Will I adopt children?  Buy a new home?  Live in a different city?  How long will I continue to work at my current job?  I want to look ahead and see myself five years from now.  Ten years from now.  I just have this desire to know.  I try to so hard to see it, but the picture is is like a very faint, blurry, watercolor painting and I can't make anything out.

I have been in my house for just under three years.  I have been with my boyfriend for just over four years.  I have been at my current job for just over ten years.  It feels as though nothing of any real significance has changed in a long time.  I have been feeling stagnant, and anxious to see what comes next.  I think the best word to describe it all in one neat package is unsettling.  I wish I knew how to look at the smaller picture, take things day by day, and live more in the moment.  If you have the secret, please, don't be shy about sharing.

I don't know why I feel this need for change or this need for knowledge.  Is it because I'm unhappy in my current situation?  Does it mean I'm ready for the next big thing or whatever happens to come next?  I think part of the problem is I don't know what I want.  I don't know if I ever want to be married.  Maybe it's ok to just be with my boyfriend and live our happy life together without ever signing that piece of paper or having that ceremony.  I don't know if I ever want children.  Sometimes I very much do, and other times I look at the lives of my other friends that do have children and I'm not sure if I really want that.

I feel some very big decisions coming my way in the near future.  And I wonder if I have the guts to make them or if the lack of decisiveness will make the decisions for me.  It's kind of exciting being on the edge of some potentially very big changes, but it's also incredibly scary.  The unknown.

Am I alone in this?  Have you gone through the same type of things?  Have you felt stagnant for too long or had so much difficulty making some of life's big decisions?