December 2010 Archives

Grocery Store Mishaps

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Normally my boyfriend and I do the grocery shopping together on Sunday evenings.  We didn't go this past Sunday due to the holiday.  I am on vacation this week while my boyfriend is working so I thought I'd be nice and head to the store solo on Tuesday afternoon to grab groceries for a couple of nights worth of dinners.  Apparently that was a bad idea.  I didn't have just one mishap, but two.

First, I decided to get some grapes.  A nice healthy snack, and one of the few fruits I actually like.  I picked some out and weighed them on the scale.  Somehow between picking them up off the scale and walking back to my cart I lost my grip and the bag dropped to the floor.  Little red, seedless grapes went rolling everywhere.  I got down on the floor and hunted them all down and found a trash can to dump them in.  I actually had a little panic moment went I was throwing them in the trash -- can I just throw these out without paying for them?  And then I laughed at myself, got everything all picked up and moved on, pretending no one noticed. 

I drink a lot of diet coke and so went to the soda isle and picked up a 12 pack.  After about 45 minutes at the store I headed to the checkout counter.  I loaded everything on to the little conveyer belt except for the diet coke.  That's usually the heaviest item and it almost always gets loaded last.  I grabbed the the box using the little perforation and before I got I could get the box high enough to get it on the belt, the part of the cardboard I was holding ripped and it fell to the floor.  The front of the box also ripped open and then about a half dozen diet coke cans were rolling around at my feet.  I once again found myself crouched down on the floor picking up a mess.  Thanks god none of the sodas exploded on impact.  So with all my other groceries already loaded up and being partially checked out I had to run back and grab another box.

I got back in the checkout line, held my head low, and tried to get from the checkout line to my car without further incident.  Luckily, I was successful.  No bags broke as I was loading them into the trunk and nothing got left behind. 

Hopefully my next trip to the store will go a little mroe smoothly.



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This is a guest post brought to you by Candice at  Read on to hear her thoughts on being exactly in her mid-thirties and what the first half of thirty-something has been like for her.  Thanks, Candice, for taking the time to write!


Thirty-five is an odd age. It's definitely mid-thirties, so you can't claim to be in your early thirties but you don't need to worry about telling someone you're in your late thirties or, god forbid, "pushing forty". If there was ever a space that was perfectly thirtysomething, it's thirty-five.


You look back and you see thirty. Oh, the freshness, the promise, the self-confidence, the pride of surviving your twenties and still being a good person.


You look ahead and you see forty. Forty is no-lying-about-it-an-adult. Forty is middle age. Forty is the traditional age of "Over the Hill" birthday parties.


But I'm told forty is the new thirty, so then thirty-five is the new twenty-five? That's great! I would love to go out drinking, watch a lot of television, buy things on credit, and dream about all the things I still have so much time to start working on.


Oh, but wait - I did that already. And so we find ourselves back at the real thirty-five, where you have fond memories of your twenties, but understand why it actually wouldn't be fun to do them over again. Where you smile fondly when reading an old journal that says, "I have no idea how people can ever say they 'know' who they are. I will NEVER know who I am." Thirty-five is where you look around and think, "This might not be what I imagined or the fulfillment of what I want, but it is my life and, somehow, I know who I am - and I know that I can still make my life more of what I want it to be."


In my twenties, we said, "Can you believe we're old enough to have friends who are married??" Most of my friends didn't get married until we were all over thirty. Being in my thirties has now meant saying, "Can you believe we're old enough to have friends who are divorced?" Being thirty-five has meant having friends who are married, friends who still live with their parents, friends who are cohabitating, friends who are married with children (plural!), and friends who are single. And all of these people get together and have plenty of common ground and a wonderful time together. There's a universal element of life and experience and the pleasure of company and friendship that holds us all together.


For me, being thirtysomething has meant being in the mix and being open to it all. When I turned thirty, I had known the man who would become my husband for two weeks; we just celebrated our second wedding anniversary last month. At 30, I had just finished one degree and am now almost done with a third. I was pretty sure I'd be perfectly content to never have children. Now, I have an adorable seven month old son who I love more than I could have ever imagined (yet, I still maintain that I could have lived a perfectly happy life childfree). Instead of budgeting for vacations, I window shop and budget for food, rent, and diapers. I look at friends' vacation photos with joy and envy. I think about curtain choices, the cost of babysitters and what kind of casserole might be good for dinner, which makes me smile and laugh at myself for feeling like a 1950s thirtysomething for a minute - something that would possibly make the twentysomething me cringe.


We've all made different choices that have landed us in the same land - thirtysomethingland - and the best thing we all do is love what we have, own the choices we've made, and love and support those around us.

Confessions of a Thirty-Something Virgin

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This is a guest post brought to you by Willi at My Life as a Thirty-Something.  She shares her thoughts on being in her thirties, a virgin, and feeling different from the majority of her peers.  Thanks, Willi, for taking the time to write!

When does it become less comforting that you are one of a kind?

The fact that no two people are alike is what makes life a little less boring! You'd think that by the time we hit our thirties, being unique is truly something to be savored, something that makes you admired and loved by those you care about the most . Sometimes, however, feeling like there's just one of you can bring a sense of pessimism.

And so it is with me - I'm 31 years old and a virgin by choice. When I was about 15, I took part in a special youth-led Sunday evening service at my church. My pastor spoke candidly about sex and that it was something to be cherished between a married couple. At the end, he asked those of us who wanted to take an abstinence pledge to come to the altar and be prayed for. More than 15 years later, here I am. Several of my friends who made the same pledge have long since found their soulmate, gotten married and even have children of their own. For better or for worse, I never dated until after college and have yet to find The One.

It seems among many thirty-something women, there's an unspoken consensus that 30 is almost the "magic age" for men -- that they focus less on sex and outward appearance and more on the things that matter. And I have noticed a distinct difference - most of the guys that were not put off by the idea of waiting were usually pushing 30 or over the age of 30. But for most people, sex naturally progresses as a result of a romantic relationship. Though I've encountered a few gents over the years who showed some patience regarding my decision, they were incompatible for other reasons, and the relationships didn't last. However, for the most part, even the sweetest, most mature of men have a serious problem with abstinence. It didn't occur to me until very recently that it isn't simply the idea of not having sex that's so frightening, it's the thought of marriage!

My faith was the basis for the choice, but over the years I've adopted purely practical reasons for waiting...namely that sex tends to complicate things. It's difficult enough to withdraw from an unhealthy relationship. I can't imagine adding sex to the equation. This choice certainly adds an entirely new dimension to the art of dating as a thirty-something. Many of us who are single thirty-somethings and late bloomers in the dating game may still be mastering how to converse in general with the opposite sex. So when exactly does this topic even come up? First date? Twelfth date? Or when things get hot and heavy? It has been precarious to say the least.

When I was younger, the big reveal was met with frustration, curiosity and, ultimately rejection from the early 20-something set. Of course getting a thumbs-down from a guy is tough to take no matter what the reason. When it's for an ideal you feel really strongly about it really hurts. Now that I'm older, I get a lot of kudos and congratulations from men, right before I get the "Let's be friends" speech I've heard countless times and it many different ways....even from men with whom I share the same Christian-based beliefs.

Inbetween bouts of sadness and anger, I've realized I have been inadvertently fishing in the wrong places - internet dating sites and my favorite karaoke bar are not the ideal places to meet Mr. Right when you are this unique! I need to go back to the basics: spending time with like-minded folks in a church setting or something similar. Hopefully, it will bring much needed encouragement that my special someone is out there.

Do you know anyone who remained abstinent into their thirties? Do you have any unusual qualities that thins out the dating pool?

Perfectionism and Christmas Gifts

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My perfectionism strikes again.  My grandmother was really excited when I sent her some pictures of some of the things I've knit recently.  She used to be a big knitter herself and after seeing my projects she started thinking about knitting again herself.  So I thought the perfect Christmas gift for my grandparents would be something hand-knit.  Grandparents love that kind of stuff, right?  My dad's parents live in Florida so I wasn't about to knit a hat or a scarf.  That would just be silly!  So I thought maybe some potholders.  Or some sort of Christmas ornaments. 
So I started with the potholders.  I did some research to find the best kind of yarn, found a nice pattern, some pretty colored yarn, and got started.  Half-way through, I quit.  They weren't coming out as I had imagined and just looked kind of lame.
So then I came across some really cute miniature stocking patterns and thought maybe I could make those.  I made the first one and.... well, it wasn't perfect.  And I wasn't happy.  It wasn't exactly what I had envisioned.  The top half looked bigger than the bottom part which made it look a little mis-matched and weird.  I also thought it was too big for a tree and would look funny.  After several hours of pouting about this and scouring the internet for something else I could make quickly and getting yelled at by my frustrated boyfriend who said he thought the stocking I made was really cute and my grandparents would love it, I decided to make another one.  This one came out better, in my opinion, but smaller than the first one so they didn't really "go".  I got all upset and was afraid I wouldn't have any gift at all for my grandparents.  It just wouldn't be acceptable to send two lame-looking knit ornaments to my grandparents.  Especially to my grandmother who used to knit her own sweaters and dresses!
I sent my mom a picture message and lamented about the size difference and she came back with, "They can be his and hers... the bigger one for your grandfather and the smaller one for your grandmother."  She also called me crazy.  So after much convincing by my mom and my boyfriend I mailed the two little ornaments out yesterday.  Hopefully they will be able to overlook the imperfections.
Here is what they were supposed to get:
mini knit stockings.jpg 
And this is what they will be getting (sorry for the poor picture quality, they were taken with my phone):
stockings 1.jpg

stockings 2.jpg

I guess if they don't ever have that first picture in their head, they will never know that I didn't match up to what I had really wanted to do.  It's all about expectations.  And I apparently have ridiculously high expectations for myself. 



Stop back tomorrow and Thursday for two great guest posts I have lined up.  The first is titled Confessions of a Thirtysomething Virgin and the second is Thirtysomethingland



Monday Five Countdown #6

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It's Monday again, so it's once again time to do the Monday 5 Countdown that I got from Bookish Penguin.

Five Things I'm Grateful For:

  1. That it was not a zoo out at the mall and other shopping plazas when I did a bunch of Christmas shopping on Sunday.
  2. My relatively good health.  It's been nearly 2 years since I've had a cold or the flu.  That is an unheard of record for me.
  3. That this is my last week of work until I'm on vacation for the rest of the year.
  4. That I am able to take a bunch of time off to just simply relax and do whatever the heck I want.  I definitely need time to rejuvinate and get ready for the coming year.
  5. That we had a little break in the ridiculous winter weather.  It's supposed to get bad again but I am thankful for the few days of warmer weather and no snow.
Four Things I Can't Stop Thinking About:
  1. What to buy.  I made some good progress with the Christmas shopping last week but there are still some things I need to get and I am still struggling to come up with good ideas.
  2. Eye doctor appointment.  I need to make an appoinment for this coming Saturday for my annual check-up.  I am not normally a procrastinator but I haven't done this yet and it keeps nagging at me.  I also keep thinking about whether or not I want to order a new pair of glasses when I go.  My current ones are 4 years old but I normally wear contacts every day so I don't really need them.
  3. Knitting projects/ideas.  Now that I've gotten back into knitting again I can't seem to stop searching for new ideas or what I can make or how I can improve my skills.
  4. Vacation.  And, even though I'm not going anywhere, I keep dreaming about someplace warm and without snow.
Three Things I Want To Accomplish This Week:
  1. Wrap most/all of the gifts I've already purchased.
  2. Buy more gifts -- possibly finsish my shopping.
  3. Bake some Christmas goodies.  Starting with Buckeyes and the traditional sugar cookie. 
Two Things I Am Working To Be Positive About:
  1. That this last week of work won't drag  :)
  2. That I will make it through the rest of the year without getting sick.
One Random Thing:
  1. I am finally getting into the Christmas spirit.  We got the tree up and decorated over the weekend, I bought some poinsettias, I'm getting excited about baking, and lots of gifts have been bought.  

Monday Five Countdown # 5

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It's Monday again, so it's once again time to do the Monday Five Countdown that I got from Bookish Penguin.
Five Things I'm Grateful For:
  1. Hot chocolate.  :)  I don't drink coffee, so this is my hot drink of choice during the cold winter months.
  2. Snow tires.  For making driving in these terrible winter storms a little bit safer.
  3. Netflix.  I absolutely love being able to create a queue and having movies/shows mailed to me.  I also love being able to browse the items that I can just stream instantly.  Perfect when I'm bored and there's nothing on tv.  I particularly love this during the winter when I tend to hibernate and hide inside.
  4. The ability to sleep in on weekends.
  5. Surprise gifts in the mail like the one I received the other day.

Four Things I Can't Stop Thinking About:

  1. Etsy Shop.  I've been doing a lot of research and brainstorming new ideas.  I'm still not sure I'm capable of doing this yet, but I've now got the bug.  The seed has been planted. 
  2. Christmas decorating.
  3. Christmas baking.
  4. Chirstmas gift-buying.

Three Things I Want To Accomplish This Week:
  1. More Christmas shopping.  The time is flying by and Christmas will be here before I know it -- yikes.
  2. Getting the Christmas tree up and decorated, and getting the lights put up outside.
  3. Learn how to knit a cable pattern.
Two Things I Am Working To Be Positive About:
  1. My knitting/crafting skills after my recent failure.  I've jumped right in on my next project, so that's a good sign.  Gotta get back on the horse.
  2. That I will be able to find the perfect gift for everyone on my list


One Random Thing:
  1. Christmas has arrived in earnest.  20 and 30 degree temperatures?  Check.  Several inches of snow?  Check. Howling winds?  Check.  Not a fan of any of these.


What's going on with your Monday Five?


Knitting FAIL

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I spent approximately 6-8 hours on a knitting project that turned out to be a complete bust.  My boyfriend kindly and gently reminded me that I am still a beginner and learning and that it wasn't a complete waste because I learned from it.  I am better now than I was before I started the project.  This is the result of my attempt:

knitting FAIL.jpgHere is what I learned during the process of making this failure of a ladybug (yes, that's what it was supposed to be) hat:

  1. When you come up with a pattern, don't do it on a square grid.  Knitting isn't square.  Each stitch is taller than it is wide, so your design will be skewed.  Also, there are free programs that will help you with creating the appropriate size grid and even converting images to patterns.
  2. I like the little border I did (knit a row, purl a row).
  3. I first tried to do the entire hat in that pattern, but the logo looked horrible.  A logo just won't work with the alternating raised purl stitches.
  4. The knit a row - purl a row pattern has a much different gauge than knitting every row.  The hat was way bigger than expected.
  5. Even though I tried to leave the string in the back really loose when carrying the black and red yarn, it came out terrible.  It was still all tight, and all the extra yarn made it kinda puffy.  Trying to do a logo like that is a bad idea (or maybe I just haven't learned to do it properly yet).


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We all have those days where we feel completely incompetent, right?  We can't seem to do anything right, everything takes 10 times longer to do than it should, and we just lose all confidence in ourselves. We begin to believe we can't do even the smallest tasks, such as brush our teeth or make a simple sandwich, in a sufficient manner.

This is how I've been feeling at work lately. And will likely continue to feel this way for the next two and a half weeks. I've ben given a tough challenge and instead of rising to the occassion I feel like I am failing miserably in every way. I am a perfectionist and don't really deal well with failure (less than perfection). I understand no one can possibly be perfect and so I am sometimes able to talk myself down from the ledge by trying to talk some reason into myself.  But sometimes I am not able, and big, ugly  meltdown ensues.

Right now, and for the next two weeks, I need to keep repeating the following:

You can only try your hardest and do your best.

You may not be awesome at this, but you are good at other aspects of your job.

It's for only two more weeks and throb it will be over and then you are on vacation for something like 18 days and that is going to rock.


Luckily, the flip side of this feeling of incompetence also exists, where everything is awesome and you feel like the smartest person in the world and could accomplish anything. That's what keeps us going. We remember those times and have hope they come again.

Tell me about a recent time you felt totally inctgifompotent, you know, just to make me feel a little bit better. :)

About This Blog

Stories, advice, and random thoughts from a thirty-something female.

Many people in their thirties are dealing with common issues and concerns. Some of these include buying a home, establishing a career, starting a family, and dealing with aging parents. I will blog about all these things as well as other every day stuff as I make my way through this third decade of life.

You can read more about the author behind thirty-something blog on the About Me page.





About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from December 2010 listed from newest to oldest.

November 2010 is the previous archive.

January 2011 is the next archive.

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