Thirtysomethingland

This is a guest post brought to you by Candice at bookishpenguin.com.  Read on to hear her thoughts on being exactly in her mid-thirties and what the first half of thirty-something has been like for her.  Thanks, Candice, for taking the time to write!
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Thirty-five is an odd age. It's definitely mid-thirties, so you can't claim to be in your early thirties but you don't need to worry about telling someone you're in your late thirties or, god forbid, "pushing forty". If there was ever a space that was perfectly thirtysomething, it's thirty-five.

 

You look back and you see thirty. Oh, the freshness, the promise, the self-confidence, the pride of surviving your twenties and still being a good person.

 

You look ahead and you see forty. Forty is no-lying-about-it-an-adult. Forty is middle age. Forty is the traditional age of "Over the Hill" birthday parties.

 

But I'm told forty is the new thirty, so then thirty-five is the new twenty-five? That's great! I would love to go out drinking, watch a lot of television, buy things on credit, and dream about all the things I still have so much time to start working on.

 

Oh, but wait - I did that already. And so we find ourselves back at the real thirty-five, where you have fond memories of your twenties, but understand why it actually wouldn't be fun to do them over again. Where you smile fondly when reading an old journal that says, "I have no idea how people can ever say they 'know' who they are. I will NEVER know who I am." Thirty-five is where you look around and think, "This might not be what I imagined or the fulfillment of what I want, but it is my life and, somehow, I know who I am - and I know that I can still make my life more of what I want it to be."

 

In my twenties, we said, "Can you believe we're old enough to have friends who are married??" Most of my friends didn't get married until we were all over thirty. Being in my thirties has now meant saying, "Can you believe we're old enough to have friends who are divorced?" Being thirty-five has meant having friends who are married, friends who still live with their parents, friends who are cohabitating, friends who are married with children (plural!), and friends who are single. And all of these people get together and have plenty of common ground and a wonderful time together. There's a universal element of life and experience and the pleasure of company and friendship that holds us all together.

 

For me, being thirtysomething has meant being in the mix and being open to it all. When I turned thirty, I had known the man who would become my husband for two weeks; we just celebrated our second wedding anniversary last month. At 30, I had just finished one degree and am now almost done with a third. I was pretty sure I'd be perfectly content to never have children. Now, I have an adorable seven month old son who I love more than I could have ever imagined (yet, I still maintain that I could have lived a perfectly happy life childfree). Instead of budgeting for vacations, I window shop and budget for food, rent, and diapers. I look at friends' vacation photos with joy and envy. I think about curtain choices, the cost of babysitters and what kind of casserole might be good for dinner, which makes me smile and laugh at myself for feeling like a 1950s thirtysomething for a minute - something that would possibly make the twentysomething me cringe.

 

We've all made different choices that have landed us in the same land - thirtysomethingland - and the best thing we all do is love what we have, own the choices we've made, and love and support those around us.