Last month I posted a guest post by Gary in which he spoke about his thoughts on turning 30. I have been 30 for 6 months now, and have yet to write about how I felt/feel about the milestone. I figure now is as good a time as any to do it.
When I was 25, 26, 27, I started getting increasingly anxious about turning 30. The main reason was I didn't feel I had accomplished what I had set in my mind that I would accomplish but the time the big day arrived. I was feeling like my friends and colleagues were blowing by me in terms of what they were doing in their life. I felt very stagnant. What had I accomplished since I graduated college at 21? I was still in the same apartment and at the same job (granted, a fairly good job) that I started when I graduated. I wasn't in any sort of long term relationship. Others that I knew that were my age were getting married, starting families, buying houses, getting promotions, switching careers, etc. They were headed somewhere. They were doing things with their lives. I felt like I was getting older and was wasting what should be some of the best years of my life. I had to constantly remind myself that everyone progressed on their own timeline and there was no set age at which things had to happen. It took a lot to try and override all those preconceived notions of what my thirty year old self looked like.
Then things started to change for me. I met my boyfriend in August of 2005. We started hanging out in June of 2006. And in September of 2006, less than a month before my 28th birthday, we started a committed relationship. Then, in September of 2007, on my 29th birthday to be exact, I had my offer on my first home accepted. I finally felt like things were progressing to where I wanted them to be. I was very happy in my relationship, and I felt proud that I was financially secure enough to buy a nice house in a nice area all on my own. I felt better about my pending 30th birthday at 29 than I did at 27.
I recently hopped on the facebook bandwagon and noticed that almost every single one of my friends from high school that I found on there was married. Most had at least one child, and some were working on child #2. I also work with several people my age and am seeing the same thing there. So I guess you could say that I am still "behind" a lot of others my age, but I am okay with it. I am happy with the woman I have become and what my life is like right now.
I have a positive outlook for my thirties. I have much more confidence in myself now than I did in my twenties. I now have a much better feel for who I am and I am more comfortable in my own skin.
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Check out a few other guest posts where other thirty-somethings share their thoughts:
And some favorites elsewhere on the 'net:
http://www.beautyden.com/turning30.shtml
http://www.lauralemay.com/essays/musings.html
http://www.dysan.net/Weird/show/597.html
http://michael-moniz.com/30-reasons-why-turning-30-rocks/
http://scottishtales.wordpress.com/2009/03/09/on-comparisons-and-turning-30/
The idea of 30 bothered me in the years leading up to it more than the actual birthday. Probably for many of the same reasons you listed. When I was younger, I saw myself somewhere different. Married (never been), closer to done having kids (not even started), living in a house (had one, we broke up, I have an apartment now). As I approached 30, I realized I was about as far away from The Dream as I could possibly be. And then I realized that I *like* this version of myself. So even if everyone around is married & well into having a family, it's ok for me not to be there yet. If I were, I would have been settling--and I haven't.
Well said, dawn! That was exactly what i was trying to say, but you did so more eloquently. I especially liked the parts about settling and The Dream.
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