Losing Friends to Marriage and Kids? How to Enjoy a Social Life when Thirty-something Milestones Get in the Way

| 2 Comments | No TrackBacks

This is a guest post written by Alvina Lopez.  She offers us a few suggestions on what to do if you find your self losing friends after they get married and start families.  I, for one, can definitely relate.  Please see the by-line below for a bit more information on the author.


Although people, Americans especially, are putting off marriage later and later as the decades progress, it's still fairly common to get hitched when you're in your early thirties or sometimes even before. However, not all of us thirty-somethings are ready for this particular milestone. Whether we haven't met the right person or we're waiting for financial security and our careers to reach a certain stage, we find ourselves in the single camp while more and more of our friends are taking the plunge. Of course, getting married is a wonderful life experience and is perhaps one of the most important moments in a human being's life. But what do you do when all the friends who used to be available to have a night on the town have morphed into creatures from a distant planet of respectable, settled down responsibility? Here are a few tips.

1. Demonstrate a desire to still hang out, even if it's in a family setting.

One thing I noticed when many of my friends had settled down and we would not hang out as often was that they assumed I wasn't interested in family time. That is to say, my friends associated the single life with single socializing and figured I, as a single person, would think family time was lame. But having dinner with your married friends is one of the most enjoyable things ever, especially when kids are involved. Demonstrate a desire to do the family time thing, and you'd be surprised by how much closer you'll be with your married friends.

2. Find some younger friends, or friends who are not on the marriage path yet.

Of course, there will still be times when you want to go out as you used to when you were in your twenties, and your married friends will not always have the time to do so considering their commitments to spouse and children. As such, you should consider casting your nets wide. There are plenty of thirty-somethings who are far from ready to get married, and hanging out with people who are a few years younger than you can be fun, too.

3. Plan get-togethers well in advance to give your family-centered friends some time to arrange for babysitters, etc.

Although the married life is described as "settled down," it's not nearly as boring as some people make it sound. Married people can have fun, too. The conflict arises when you don't plan accordingly, since those who have family commitments work on schedules while the unmarried among us can afford to structure their social lives in the last minute. That being the case, make sure to set aside a specific time at least a week or two in advance, and offer to help find a babysitter if needed.

These were the most helpful points of advice for me, especially at a time when I thought my friends was dropping like flies after getting married. You don't have to segregate your social life between "marrieds" and "unmarrieds." You just have to find some balance that takes into consideration your somewhat different lifestyles.



Alvina Lopez is a freelance writer and blog junkie, who blogs about accredited online colleges.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id: alvina.lopez @gmail.com.


No TrackBacks

TrackBack URL: http://www.thirtysomethingblog.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-t.cgi/408


I'm a planner by nature, anyway. What bugs me is when I try to plan in advance with my friends who have children, and they're not willing to plan so far in advance. Yet last minute things never work out. At times, I just give up because if they can't be spontaneous yet they don't like planning too far in advance, I just can't work with that. My husband's siblings are the worst. I'd love to spend more time with them and their children, but it's impossible.

Leave a comment

About This Blog

Stories, advice, and random thoughts from a thirty-something female.

Many people in their thirties are dealing with common issues and concerns. Some of these include buying a home, establishing a career, starting a family, and dealing with aging parents. I will blog about all these things as well as other every day stuff as I make my way through this third decade of life.

You can read more about the author behind thirty-something blog on the About Me page.





About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Erin published on March 29, 2011 8:30 PM.

Spring Break was the previous entry in this blog.

Fort Lauderdale, FL is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.