March 2011 Archives

This is a guest post written by Alvina Lopez.  She offers us a few suggestions on what to do if you find your self losing friends after they get married and start families.  I, for one, can definitely relate.  Please see the by-line below for a bit more information on the author.


Although people, Americans especially, are putting off marriage later and later as the decades progress, it's still fairly common to get hitched when you're in your early thirties or sometimes even before. However, not all of us thirty-somethings are ready for this particular milestone. Whether we haven't met the right person or we're waiting for financial security and our careers to reach a certain stage, we find ourselves in the single camp while more and more of our friends are taking the plunge. Of course, getting married is a wonderful life experience and is perhaps one of the most important moments in a human being's life. But what do you do when all the friends who used to be available to have a night on the town have morphed into creatures from a distant planet of respectable, settled down responsibility? Here are a few tips.

1. Demonstrate a desire to still hang out, even if it's in a family setting.

One thing I noticed when many of my friends had settled down and we would not hang out as often was that they assumed I wasn't interested in family time. That is to say, my friends associated the single life with single socializing and figured I, as a single person, would think family time was lame. But having dinner with your married friends is one of the most enjoyable things ever, especially when kids are involved. Demonstrate a desire to do the family time thing, and you'd be surprised by how much closer you'll be with your married friends.

2. Find some younger friends, or friends who are not on the marriage path yet.

Of course, there will still be times when you want to go out as you used to when you were in your twenties, and your married friends will not always have the time to do so considering their commitments to spouse and children. As such, you should consider casting your nets wide. There are plenty of thirty-somethings who are far from ready to get married, and hanging out with people who are a few years younger than you can be fun, too.

3. Plan get-togethers well in advance to give your family-centered friends some time to arrange for babysitters, etc.

Although the married life is described as "settled down," it's not nearly as boring as some people make it sound. Married people can have fun, too. The conflict arises when you don't plan accordingly, since those who have family commitments work on schedules while the unmarried among us can afford to structure their social lives in the last minute. That being the case, make sure to set aside a specific time at least a week or two in advance, and offer to help find a babysitter if needed.

These were the most helpful points of advice for me, especially at a time when I thought my friends was dropping like flies after getting married. You don't have to segregate your social life between "marrieds" and "unmarrieds." You just have to find some balance that takes into consideration your somewhat different lifestyles.



Alvina Lopez is a freelance writer and blog junkie, who blogs about accredited online colleges.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id: alvina.lopez

Spring Break

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I am excited to share that earlier this week my boyfriend and I finally booked our late winter vacation (now that spring is nearly here already). 

After months of debate and hours hunched over the computer researching, the plane tickets have been purchased and the hotel reservations have been booked.  My boyfriend and I are both horrible at decision making and are also very frugal, so between trying to read every  possible review for every possible hotel and typing in various flight departure and return dates to see what the best possible price we could get was, it was a very trying and stressful experience.

I think we are both very happy with the fruits of our labor, though.  All the sweat and tears were worthwhile.  We decided Hawaii was too expensive a trip for us right now but still wanted to go somewhere nice.  We settled on southern Florida.  We picked what seems to be a very nice hotel and splurged just a little for an oceanfront room with a balcony.  We also added to the agenda (consisting mostly of sleeping in late, sitting by the pool or on the beach, reading, taking lots of walks, and eating at a few nice restaurants) a day to drive an hour north to visit my grandparents.  I have not seen them in about three years and they have never met my boyfriend so I am excited about this.  My grandfather will be turning 98 in a few months and my grandmother will be turning 91, so I really want to get there to visit them while I am still fortunate enough to have the opportunity. 

So the countdown to when we leave at the end of the month begins.  We did a bunch of shopping today (bathing suits, cover ups, shoes, shirts) so I'm pretty much ready to go and I'm hoping the time goes by quickly.  My soul could use some R & R and a little Vitamin D right now, that's for sure.

Monday Five Countdown # 13

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It's Monday again, so it's once again time to do the Monday 5 Countdown created by Bookish Penguin.


Five Things I'm Grateful For:
  1. That did not catch/have the stomach virus/food poisoning that my boyfriend was afflicted this week.  Also that I was able to work from home and take care of my very sick boy without guilt.
  2. That my little sister was finally able to find a good teaching job.  I am sad that she will no longer be living in the same city that I am and will be far away, but I am happy for her.
  3. That Sunday was a much better day than Saturday.
  4. That we did not get the snow that a lot of places seemed to get overnight.  My sister woke up to 14 inches of snow and was snowed in (but still had to get to work, of course).
  5. March is here! 
Four Things I Can't Stop Thinking About:
  1. My new sleep medication.  I started it a week ago and still haven't been able to tell if it's really helping or not because my schedule has been all off this last week.
  2. How to budget for a what will likely be a $10,000+ new roof this year.  Every time I spend a dollar I am thinking about whether or not I should be spending it.
  3. Vacation.  I desperately want/need a week away on a beach somewhere.  I don't think it would be smart to still go to Hawaii given the roof situation.
  4. The last book I finished called The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.  It was simply amazing.  Loved it, loved it, loved it. 
Three Things I Want To Accomplish This Week:
  1. Get on a good sleep schedule and wake up rested and refreshed each morning.
  2. Continue to plan an alernate beach vacation.  I hear Florida is great this time of year.  :)  And my grandparents just happen to live down there... and it's been many years since I've been... and it's much closer and cheaper to fly there and...
  3. Finish reading Alias Grace.
Two Things I Am Working To Be Positive About:
  1. My new medication.
  2. Life in general.  This last week has been very rough.  This week will be better!
One Random Thing:
  1. I saw Eat Pray Love this weekend while my boyfriend was out at a bachelor party.  It is almost always the case that I believe the book version of a story is better than the movie version.  In this case, I thought the book was WAY better than the movie.  Even if it did have James Franco in it.

About This Blog

Stories, advice, and random thoughts from a thirty-something female.

Many people in their thirties are dealing with common issues and concerns. Some of these include buying a home, establishing a career, starting a family, and dealing with aging parents. I will blog about all these things as well as other every day stuff as I make my way through this third decade of life.

You can read more about the author behind thirty-something blog on the About Me page.





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This page is an archive of entries from March 2011 listed from newest to oldest.

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